Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Microsoft Seeks One Domain Name

Today in Gaming: it has been discovered that Microsoft -- in their infinite wisdom -- has failed to procure the domain name xboxone.com from the squatter who has owned it for the past two years. That's sad. However, there's hope. Perhaps this will shine a light on the horrific practice of domain squatting and maybe someone powerful -- like Microsoft -- might even do something about it.

I'm just kidding. The companies that run the Internet contribute to American political campaigns, so you can take that off the table. Domain squatters are the dregs of humanity who offer nothing to society but a trickle of money that becomes the river of an even bigger fungi like GoDaddy.com -- the pervs who wipe their feet on Danica Patrick's soul every Superbowl.

But we shouldn't panic. After all, perhaps there's another domain name that Microsoft could use instead -- like the rest of us. After all, do you have any idea how many combinations of 63 characters you can make out of 37 LDHs? That's 37 to the 63rd power! I'm not willing to do the math, but that's gotta be at least a couple thousand or so.

Now, I do recognize that some of them are already taken. So to help Microsoft out, I've compiled a list of the most obvious Xbox-centric domain names that aren't available so we can get those out of the way:

  • xboxone.com
    Squatted via GO DADDY.COM
  • xbox1.com
    Squatted via VALUE-DOMAIN.COM
  • xboxone.us
    Squatted by the proudest squatter I've ever seen.
  • xboxone.org
    Blog about the XBOX One. At least we're headed in the right direction.
  • theone.com
    THE One Total Home Experience LLC, Dubai. Hey, isn't that what the XBOX One is supposed to be? The total home experience? This site is Martha Stewart meets hippy Arab chic.
  • xboxgohome.com
    Ha! Links to vooks.net -- Australia's #1 Nintendo Site
  • xbone.com
    Squatted -- but with a link to a rudimentary game called Sandbox Physics, which was actually pretty cool
  • xboxuno.com
    Squatted... twice!
  • xbone.org
  • xbone.us
  • xbox.com
    Squa-- hey, wait a minute! Apparently, Microsoft already owns that one. Maybe they could just -- you know -- use the Web site they already own and have spent seventeen years branding. Nah...

Now that that's done, here are the domain names that are available:

  • microsoftxboxtheone.com
  • xboxyouaretheone.com
  • firstxbox.com
  • thirdxbox.com
  • allxbox1.com
  • elitexbox1.com
  • reviewxbox1.com
  • worldxbox1.com
  • xboxace.com
  • lovexbox1.com
  • xb1planet.com
  • xbone.tv
  • xbox.us.com (yeah, right)
  • xb1.biz
  • xb1.xxx
  • xboxoppositeofinfinity.com
  • theonexbox.net
  • doggynosescars.com
  • halotvshow.net
  • weheartEA.com
  • quantumwhateveritwascalled.com
  • realgirldestroysfakebridge.com
  • thatiwouldfindtheone.com
  • whyohwhydidntitakethebluepill.com

Anyway, Microsoft, I hope this little bit of research helps you out of your jam. Good luck at E3!

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